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Instant Coffee Saturday Edition
Issue 8, June 22, 2002 | ISSN 1499-5085
saturday.instantcoffee.org
 
 
  • Saturday Edition Feature
  • Graphique Book of Books by Timothy Comeau
  • International Coffees
  • Mr Brown
  • Tasters Choice
  • Ten Ten
  • Sanka
  •  
    How to prepare ICSE: do everything last minute

    1. what is it if not for fun? because we are all so rich

    planning ahead is fun precisely when you are working for yourself as deadlines can be moved

    2. limit everything to what we don't know

    professional amateurism means harvesting that new feeling without giving up planning

    3. watch a lot of television while working

    distraction is more important than concentration as this suits our culture

    4. work fast; because things have to get done at the last minute

    if things do not get done on time for tech or other bad reasons do it anyway

    Instant Coffee

    Send letters to the editor to feedback@instantcoffee.org


    TOP
    Saturday Edition Feature

    1. Jacktion Painting: A Parable of Libidinal Expression
    By Terence Dick*

    Jackson Pollock would not masturbate for weeks at a time. He would abstain from sex and avoid any but the most mundane contact with his genitals. If, say, he had to urinate, he would touch his penis. But if his trousers happened to be rubbing in a way that aroused him, he would adjust his pants accordingly. He would sleep on his back and refrain from putting his hands in his pockets. He would not entertain erotic thoughts. After a certain period of time, his body would begin to crave sexual contact. He could not help but desire the people with whom he came in contact. An innocent glance or a glimpse of a hip bone or the angle of someone's legs would set his mind aflame. The longer he held his libido in check, the more intensely it welled up within him. There were times when the pleasure centres at the base of his skull would radiate heat down his spine. His fingertips would tingle with needles and pins. The area between his thighs would generate a magnetic field, tugging at the air and quivering in proximity to certain stimulus. Pollock would sustain this carnal resistance while at the same time exposing himself to the constant barrage of sexual temptations that surrounded him. He would deny himself any and all orgasmic release until his eyes would roll back into his head and he would collapse, immobile, likely to spontaneously ejaculate from even the most imperceptible of caresses.

    In these moments, he would imagine a paint brush that did not drip or dribble but shot great wads of paint across the width of his studio and onto canvases that hung unfinished on the walls. This weighty tool seemed to generate paint from within itself; it had a mind of its own and drew his arm outward and upward. He held tight to this wand and felt its warmth as another ropey mass was spat from amongst its bristles, cartwheeling through the air and landing with an anticlimactic splatter. His body would relax and his arm would drop, momentarily spent. But when, in his hallucination, he tried to examine the canvases, he found his vision obscured. Somehow the splooge had landed on his eyes and as he looked out from this viscous lens, the figures around him liquidated. The fine lines that marked their limits bled and these already emptied images lost even more gravity. What they gained was the condensed meaning of collapsed ontologico-aesthetic categories.

    "As it impacts on the representative surface of the canvas, the cum shot is suspended at the vertical horizon of the canvas surface. Both on and of the painting, splooge frames the work from the front, troubling the viewer's access to the image, imposing a physical, that is, sexual relationship between eye and art while at the same time depicting itself as itself, bleeding into (or out of) the canvas, participating in the representational trope. The beauty of this premature ejaculation (the paintings remain seemingly in progress) is its imperfect transparency. The truth of the ejaculate is that it is what it is." (Lisa Liebmann, "Ob-seeing" in Artforum, December 1986)

    Obsessed with realizing this fantastical tool of creation, Pollock continued his sexual fasting. Following in his friend Yves Klein's footsteps, he would bring nude models into the studio and use their bodies as canvases, he would imbibe food colouring in an attempt to change the pigment of his seminal fluid (but only ever managed to piss out limpid, watery shades). He would mount his paintings, piercing them with his member (later exhibited as his DeVirgin series). He even went so far as to dip his penis in paint and apply it to the canvas surface in a variety of energetic thrusts and grinds. None of these techniques matched the deprivation induced vision of the magic brush.

    His dream of a pure, libidinal artistry remained a dream. He came to realize that repressed sexual energy did not automatically convert into creative inspiration and gave up on abstinence. He also discovered that the locus of his somatic-aesthetic horniness was neither his penis nor his paint brush but his eye. And his canvases were stained windows.

    * this text originally accompanied Matthew Crookshank's exhibition at Luft Gallery, Toronto, April, 2002.


    2. Week in Rewind
    by Lucia de L'Amour

    The idea for this particular piece arouse from a sentence in a newspaper article stating that police had followed the smiley face pipe bomber usa to his forested hideway by tracking his cell phone signal.... The following are bits of newsprint culled from - as Jello Biafra calls it - the Gob and Maul of the past few weeks the text has been classified into mirror escrutcheon structures of their nascent source naturally complying with the Week in Review format thus and therefore.

    SATURDAY SATURDAY
    "The urge to compete would be really hard to conquer, unless you were just able to be solid enough in your own identity that you were able to be fascinated with somebody who's different than you without feeling like you're totally going to be destroyed....It can't be a slow , meditative, take-four-years-to-think-about-these-ideas thing. It's gotta be like Eustace [ [[[[ Conway -The Last American Man -supposedly ]]]] ] , which is to say: fast, aggressive , confident and daring."

    However, it is astounding that Mr. Martin believes the U.S.-Soviet strategy of avoiding direct conflict and instead fighting proxy wars in places such as Angola, Vietnam and Central America is far more rational. Fighting in someone else's back yard, sacrificing citizens of weaker countries [ [[[ Is "Weaker" Really the Word you were Looking for here Kalyani Menon ]]]]] ] while minimizing their own losses was certainly rational from the U.S.-Soviet perspective, but I wonder if this rationality was lost on the Angolans, Vietnamese and Central Americans? In contrast ,[ [[[ Again are You sure it is Contrast of which You attempt to Speak ] ]]] ] India and Pakistan's willingness to blow themselves up along with everyone else seems almost noble.

    Susan Hobbs on Robyn Collyer as quoted by Sarah Milroy
    " Think Richard Neutra meets Guantanamo Bay, "

    Gary Michael Dault on Lois Andison currently at Sable Castelli Gallery
    Deep inside each breast lurks a mirror. So you end up looking at yourself. Unless you're so concerned about the imminent blade-like closing again of each..(mammararia dentata?) that you want to get the heck out of there. I guess the piece is about some particularly male confusion about desire and narcissism. Or it's about the hollowness of desire itself? About how you are what you touch? Or about how we ought to reflect on what we want? Or about how all this sure-fire, never-fail responsiveness-on-demand comes at a price ? Or -aw, I give up, I don't know what the piece is about.

    Holly (Solomon) had an amazing eye for visual art, especially painting, which she loved passionately. She was more passionate - certainly more colourful- than the passionate and colourful artists she represented. She was a beautiful and glamorous queen who loved her subjects and the artwork we created for her.

    MONDAY MONDAY
    In discussing the kirpan, he reached into his turban and produced a one-inch-long wooden carved kirpan. He siad he carried it with him always. My wife and I said that in Canada the Sikh children wanted to carry a metal kirpan on their belt. He replied: " They are just trying to make mischief. In India, Sikhs wear their kirpans only for ceremonial occasions."

    came back with 14 guilty verdicts and Mr.Gotti was sentenced to life in prison. He smiled to supporters as the cameras flashed one last time. "I'll be okay," he told them

    This is hardly the first time that Canadians have managed not to see a treasure for what it is. Nor, I'M sure will it be the last. So let me point out something that art critics and columnists have pointed out before...If the Ydessa Hendeles Art Foundation was situated in London, or Paris or Berlin or New York, and if an exhibition - an installation, actually - as brilliantly conceived and as beautifully executed as Same Difference was hanging on those foreign walls, the line lineups for entry (Saturdays , noon to 5 p.m.) Would be around the block. [ [[[[[[[[ Like the Opening Perhaps ]]]]]]]]]]] ] But since this is Canada, I just got off my bicycle and strolled right in. [ [[[ always away away what can we bring back from away anyway ]]]

    The goopiness , he says, includes Oprah Winfrey, a person he sees as symptomatic of an illness in American Society. "She's somebody who's willing to traffic in sentimentality as a source of understanding, and , I just don't like that"

    Years later , Norma Burgos gave a deposition to the Sweedish government saying she saw Dagmar Hagelin alive, in the dreaded Navy Mechanics School, lying on an iron bed with her hands chained to the frame. She had bruises under her eyes and a wound above her left eyebrow. Her hair was stiff with blood. According to Ms. Burgos, a handsome, blond navy man with a brilliant smile was at the girl's side, conducting a quiet , wheedling interrogation. She said it was Alfredo Astiz.

    The plaque in the building's lobby states that it was "...dedicated to the task of strengthening family life." (Judge) Lorne (Stewart) was forever proud of a newspaper's description: "More clinic than court." The court at 311 Jarvis concentrated on the needs of the children and families appearing there: probation, counselling, mediation and psychiatric services and the detention home for juveniles were all within the building. "The idea was to build a real team, working together, helping one another to solve problems, crowded, windowless, steel cells in which the detained are now held, tears started to come to his eyes and he asked me to take him home....he had written about that day: "What did I see - handcuffs, locked doors, more court than clinic ."

    Palestinian villages and towns that will be on the western side of the fence are worried they will be unable to take their produce for sale on the West Bank. The fence (electronic -to extend the pre-1967 border length) also make it almost impossible to cross by foot into Israel , something many workers do illegally before dawn every day.

    Examples of poorly designed Web pages are collected and criticized at a site that is named, with characteristic Internet elegance, [ [[[ [ and it doesn't even have to include itself ] ]]]] ]

    Antonio Meucci demonstrated his "teletrophono", in New York 1860. Bell Patent 1876

    Using a process called "quantum entanglement" the team at Canberra's Australian National University, disassembled a laser at one end of an optical communications system and recreated a replica a metre away. "We cannot teleport matter yet so all we have done is that we have teleported photons within a beam of laser."

    Whenever she returns home (from Confucian School) to see her parents now, she gives them a formal greeting: "Father and Mother, I have returned." "In the past ,"she said, "I didn't greet my parents when I came home. Now I respect them much more."

    The Bush on Evil, "When we see evil - I know it may hurt some people's feelings, it may not be diplomatically correct - but I'm calling evil for what it is....Evil is evil, and we will fight it with all our might." Donald Rumsfeld on Iraqi claims " They are lying,"

    The Nuclear Nonproliferation Treaty indefinitely extended 1995.... the World Court had affirmed the treaty's disarmament obligations in 1996. The Comprehensive Test Ban Treaty was approved....it all proved to be a false dawn; events since then have dashed hopes for meaningful progress.... once again at a familiar crossroads, confronting the same old choice between security based on deterrence or disarmament.... ....a commission must consist of renowned and respected experts, but it must also ensure a balance of gender, geography and political view points - although too much consideration for the political could create gridlock.

    "If sunbeams were weapons of war, we would have had solar energy long ago." - Nobel laureate Sir George Porter

    TUESDAY TUESDAY
    His guitar solos were like vast parabolas that arched outside the ample lines drawn for the rest of the band. He flirted from a great height with the capacity audience, offering intimacy while making sure everyone felt how unequal the relationship had to be. The local irony of this show was that it probably featured some of the hottest jazz improvisations of the year, but had no relationship to either of the jazz festivals in Toronto this month. As always, Prince travels best when he travels alone.

    What makes school feeding so valuable is that, far from creating unproductive dependency, it frees individuals to develop their innate potential and builds self reliance. A school-feeding was critical in helping me to become the person I am today (Paul Tergat, Kenya). There is no reason why a global program can't do the same for millions of other children around the world.

    Last month, a Chilean Judge staged a reenactment of the Horman killing at Santiago's National Stadium, and now wants Mr. Kissinger at least to answer written questions about U.S. involvement in the coup. Last may , a French judge sent the police to his Paris hotel to ask him to appear at the Justice Ministry the next day and answer questions about five French citizens who disappeared after the Chilean coup. Instead Henry Kissinger promptly left town.

    Officials said the decision to disclose Mr. Al-Muhajir's arrest came because his classification as an "enemy combatant" needed to be made within a month; otherwise he had to be charged or released.

    Ms Rowley has a lot in common with Auditor General Sheila Fraser and Enron vice president Sherron Watkins. They all hate it when things don't work the way they should. [ [[[[[[[ Really ? ]]]]]] ]They'd rather speak up than be popular. They expect other people to have standards. They're offended by lying, stealing, waste, fraud and inefficiency, and want them tidied up.They don't like lawbreakers, either. says Wente

    Genetic alteration seems to have saved Hawaii's sweet Papayas from near [ [[[ !]]] ] extinction .A deadly ringspot virus had attacked Hawaii's fifth largest crop in 1997; [ [[[[ so according to that it seems like the greater the crop the greater danger of mass infestation ] ]]]]] ] information released at the Bio 2002 conference....researchers from Cornell University and the University of Hawaii inserted a foreign gene into the fruit's DNA to combat the viral attack. [ [[[[ bravo? ] ]]]] ]

    Mr. Sharon: "It's interesting to speculate what kind of Palestinian state they want. What sort of Palestinian state? What are they talking about?" he said angrily. In the past, Mr. Sharon has opposed a Palestinian state on grounds that it would be used as a base for a continuing campaign of terror against Israel. In fact, on the surface , it seemed that the timing of the blast was an embarrassment to the Palestinian leader. Just one day earlier, Mr Arafat had directed an aide to give Washington new, informal proposals for statehood that were intended to signal Palestinian flexibility on issues such as the status of Jerusalem and the return of Palestinian refugees.

    For a few terrifying hours last week, American conservatives feared that George W had gone soft on global warming. They needn't have worried. As part of its obligations under the 1992 Rio Earth Summit, the United States was required to send the United Nations a report this year on Global warming. The Bush ; " I read the report put out by the bureaucracy," he said sourly. His opposition to Kyoto stood, he reiterated, along with his program of voluntary emission-reduction measures.[ [[[[ [ a.k.a. Do Nothing ] ]]]] ]

    WEDNESDAY WEDNESDAY
    Did the beauteous Helen launch a thousand ships, or was the cuckolding of her husband Menelaus merely the excuse for the Greeks to declare war on the Trojans? Whatever the cause, the result was death, destruction and the whole damn cataclysm, as Homer told us in The Iliad .

    The Old Testament book of Leviticus is often cited as God's moral injunction against homosexuality. But it also proscribes tattoos and wearing clothes of two different fabrics. " let's face it, say's Rev. Gibson, "we are all selective in our use of scripture." Even Jesus , he says, challenged the Ten commandments and said all the laws in scripture could be overridden by a sort of notwithstanding clause: Love....

    Prix Sade award from the Marquis de Sade Society for a "work that goes beyond all censure and political or moral oppression." La Vie Sexuel de Catherine M. Count Xavier de Sade sneered at Millet's book , calling it pornography.... he may well be an aging sexist, offended by a woman who dares to rival his ancestor's propensities for describing his exploits. If she can't distinguish among her partners- if everything is mere positioning and technique - then how on earth can we?

    Ms. Crawford told the judge that Mr.Whitmore deserved a three year sentence because of items in his possession in B.C. . She called it a "rape kit" that included latex gloves, pictures of young children, tubes of jelly lubricant, duct tape, a sleeping bag, and plastic zipper ties that can be used as handcuffs. Mr.Brodsky said the items are those found in the backpack of anyone going hiking and camping.

    THURSDAY THURSDAY
    Sept. 11 somewhere in North America. "From our perception, we think our reaction on that day was sufficiently quick that we may well have precluded at least one other hijack[ [[[[er]]] ]ing. We may not have. We don't know for sure," Gen. Pennie said

    Productivity is killing the American economy. Henry Mitzberg : What is productivity, exactly? In fact , nothing exactly. You take some measure of output, some gross product, and divide it by the number of declared hours of work . It represents what can be measured and ignores all sorts of interesting things that cannot. Ideas are outputs, but they don't figure because they can't be measured, even if they may show up later in the form of better products and processes.

    Although Attorney -General John Ashcroft said Mr. Padilla [[ [ a.k.a Mr. Al-Muhajir ] ]] had researched dirty bombs in Pakistan, an intelligence official told the Wall Street Journal that the research consisted mainly of surfing the Internet. "There was no actual plan," admitted Paul Wolfowitz, the deputy defence secretary. How much longer will they make me take a drink from my water bottle to prove it's not filled with nitroglycerin? cries Wente

    grew up in an overtly racist world..he wrote..He was a young man black man raised in a tough Harlem neighborhood. His father died of a drug overdose and his brother was shot to death. He took the bus to Canada under mistaken belief...."He became totally depressed" the Judge wrote .On the flight from Thunder Bay to Toronto, he slipped a note to an attendant " We're going to Havana , Cuba. This is no Joke."Flight crew later remembered Mr. Patrick Critton as a remarkably accommodating hijacker. He let the 83 passengers off in Toronto without notice. The crew drank coffee with him and discussed "the black race, capitalism and bureaucracy" as they flew to Havana.

    like a ponderous, repetitive drum solo that goes on for hours, even days. The endless drone [ [[[[[ [ capitalize on the closed mind !!well baffled be by inadequacy when it comes to the descriptive prowess of some tentative subscribers of disbelief: drone indeed!]]]]] ] is actually the sound of a fin whale singing a love ballad. But the modern ocean is a noisy place [ [[[[not to mention rife with nuclear waste , etc. ] ]] ] and these days the whales' courting songs compete with the din of ships, seismic surveys, military sonar and other human noises. "It's like living in the middle of a freeway"

    The Toronto voice is a thoughtful, considered voice. Milroy on good artists in Toronto.

    FRIDAY FRIDAY
    Today is the Birthday of Jean Paul Sartre - as a boy , he was considered if not downright ugly, at least physically insignificant (later he grew to 5foot2 ) [ [[[[[and who would really care to put such emphasis on the physical appearances -he looked like a downright sexycute to me from pictures that i see jealousy jealousy ] ]]]]]] ]learn that

    We learn that Descartes was only 5 foot 1, wore a wig, slept in the nude, never married and practised vivisection on animals, which he considered soulless machines and therefore unworthy of sentiment....Was Descartes' out -of -wedlock daughter, Francine, really conceived on his one slip from chastity, at 38? apparently -Yes[ [ &?] ]

    A $250.000, two hour, tribute to the great Mordecai ....someone sang Bertolt Brecht and Kurt Weill's Alabama Song, probably a better know as Show me the Way to the next Whiskey Bar....As one friend remarked privately, the entire evening was the kind of affair that would have sent Mr. Richler in search of the nearest watering hole.

    Metsu convinced his players that they could do it their way, that they would be free to play a creative game and he'd try not


    TOP
    International Coffees

    1. He Came From Away
    Lou Diamond Phillips' Autograph

    Kate
    Blessings
    Lou Diamond Phillips
    I (Love symbolized by a heart) Instant Coffee (Smiley face with tongue sticking out)

    on blue lined graph paper


    TOP
    Mr Brown

    instant coffee coffee link
    >http://www.getethical.com/
    "Get ethical. What you buy matters".

    selected links
    1.http://www.mobydickonline.org
    Moby Dick: A novel with 135 chapters, and an epilogue. 220,323 words. A book that starts at its beginning and finishes at its end. Typically, Moby Dick might be read once in a lifetime. It offers the reader words, a story, a world inside the text, in exchange for their attention, and an investment of time.

    The project, www.mobydickonline.org puts Melville's classic novel online but offers it up in a special 21st Century format: in a continuous feed, each word alone, one word at a time. This is a novel re-presented as an event, one word every 0.05 seconds, the entire novel parsed mechanically for you, once every 72 hours, for a period of one year.

    Presented in this way www.mobydickonline.org becomes a lonely spectacle, a tale retold for an unknown audience, available worldwide, online, all the time, 118.69 times in total, from June 15th, 2002 to June 15th, 2003. Log on and you can capture moments of its essence, for but a fragment of your busy day, surrendered to poetry. And if you miss it the first time around, just wait, it will come back at you again.

    By giving Melville's text a new, alien existence as an automatically unfolding thing, www.mobydickonline.org asks the question: What patience does the 21st Century have for the reading of novels? Does the novel in presented fragments make any sense, or is it merely an accommodation of the furious, distracted pace of modern existence?

    Funded by the Canada Council and the Arts Council of England, www.mobydickonline.org was conceived by Rosemary Heather and developed in conjunction with Platform and Secondary Modern of London, UK. Programming by Bob Murray.

    www.mobydickonline.org
    Conceived by Rosemary Heather ­ rosemheather@yahoo.ca
    Produced by Sheila Lawson, Platform ­ www.platform.dircon.co.uk
    Designed by Simon Josebury ­ Secondary Modern ­ secmo@dircon.co.uk
    Launch: Saturday June 15th, 2002, at:
    CANADA, 55 Chrystie St., 2GF, NY NY, 10002 USA Tel: 212-925-4631
    www.basementcanada.com

    2. http://www.tekko.ca
    TEKKO 02 mural.exhibition
    Curated by: Stephen Crowhurst [typotherapy+design]
    email. stephen@typotherapy.com

    The second installment of Tekko is titled "TEKKO 02 mural exhibition". It is confirmed to be held at the Museum of Contemporary Canadian Art (MOCCA) in Toronto on July 12th - August 25th, 2002 exhibiting the work of the following design studios:
    Buro Destruct (Switzerland) http://www.bureaudestruct.net
    Volume One (US) http://www.volumeone.com
    Rinzen (Australia) http://www.rinzen.com
    Planet Pixel (Germany) http://www.planetpixel.de
    GWG (Japan) http://www.ghs.net
    TypoTherapy+design (Canada) http://www.typotherapy.com
    Mud Pub (Canada) http://www.mudpub.org
    Conformist (Canada) http://www.conformist.nu

    Each design studio has created a 9 x 9 foot mural for your viewing pleasure.

    Tekko 02 Sponsors:
    print sponsorship - http://www.moveable.com
    media sponsorship - http://www.shift.jp.org
    media sponsorship - http://www.instantcoffee.org
    media sponsorship - http://www.shift.com

    about TEKKO:
    The Tekko Exhibitions were established in the year 2000 with the primary goal of creating an autonomous space where graphic designers could exhibit their work and new ideas away from the market place. In order to celebrate design as an aesthetic mode of production, Tekko continues to provide a forum that is removed from its dominant role as a promoter of goods and services by bringing innovative design work into a fine art setting.

    Part of our goal is to give Canadian graphic designers a push into the international market by creating a forum that places Canada at the center of a global design community. idN Magazine (Hong Kong) championed Tekko 01 "for putting Canadian design on the map." An important point to note is that before Tekko began there were no exhibitions that solely promoted contemporary graphic designers as a creative practice beyond its market value in Canada. We strongly believe that Tekko will be a long lasting exhibition that caters to dedicated designers and design enthusiasts, and will directly contribute and influence graphic design nationally and internationally. The designers and design studios we choose to exhibit and showcase in this unique manner vary from emerging to established, but all participants share a desire to push the limits of graphic design.

    3. http://www.etoy.com/daycare
    we invest social capital into 1'000 children and inject them with a shot of art and experimental lifestyle. contact mailme@etoy.com to arrange an appointment or call TANK4/17: +39 / 011 563 42 19

    4. http://www.anthology-of-art.net
    Aqui les mando de primera fila la publicacion de mi trabajo en internet en el site que está abajo que para que lo vean, si le dan doble click a la imagen la pueden ver en grande.

    5. http://www.mnftiu.cc/mnftiu.cc/war.html
    This is a comic strip presented as a series of webpages which has grown since October, the most recent page posted on May 22nd. It's a bitterly funny cartoon of office workers sitting around discussing the war on terrorism and all the other insanity of the past 9 months. It's funny cuz it's true. And it exemplifies that cursing is an art in itself. - TC
    Related links: http://www.laweekly.com/ink/01/50/a-babcock.shtml, http://www.nytimes.com/2002/04/21/fashion/21REES.html

    submitted links
    1. http://nova-scotia.tv
    My name is andrew. A friend of mine told me that you folks will feature web site links if you like them. If this is true, I'd like you to look at our new site.... IC comment: nice video viewing site. less than 10 minutes. wry pop-cult boy humour.

    2. http://www.guardian.co.uk/arts/features/story/0,11710,725634,00.html
    The other superpower - For the first time in decades, American style and culture are facing serious competition - from the land that gave us Godzilla and Hello Kitty. Douglas McGray visits the new Japan.

    ic supporter links
    http://www.steamwhistle.ca/
    http://www.thinoffice.com
    http://www.easydns.com
    http://www.techno.ca


    TOP

    Tasters Choice

    Irish Coffee Pudding

    6 eggs
    3/4 c sugar
    1 cup water with 1 1/2 tlbs coffee instant
    2 1/2 tlb powered gelatin
    1/3 c Irish whiskey or Irish Mist liqueur
    2 tlb crushed walnuts
    1 1/4 cups heavy cream

    Separate the yolks from the whites. In a bowl cream the yolks with the sugar.

    Blend the instant coffee with the water. Heat it but do not boil. Completely dissolve the gelatin in the hot coffee and add all to the yolks and sugar. Beat well and put the bowl over a pan of boiling water. Continue beating until mixture begins to thicken. Add the whiskey or liqueur and beat until mixture is thick and creamy. Remove from the heat and, when the bowl has cooled a little, put over cracked ice and continue to stir.

    When the mixture is on the point of setting, whip the cream and fold it in. Lastly fold in the well-beaten egg whites.


    TOP
    Ten Ten

    Overview Review: Contemporary Art Theory and Practice
    by Kate Monro

    Initial Premiss: To review articles on the web for current popular topics in contemporary art theory and reviews of art practice. Define major and minor topics for each, and analyse if and how they differ from articles culled from my years at art college.

    Level of Difficulty: 2 (lengthy process, detailed analysis, marginal original content)

    The Result: After several hours, and finding little or no stunning material, my interest waned and I realized this was a project for another time, if to be continued at all. What is presented here then is the first paragraph and a link to each item collected for analysis - in the category of 'current articles'. I excluded anything it was taking longer than 10 seconds to get to.

    Level of Difficulty: less than 1 (minimal process, no analysis, no original content)


    1. from Postmodern Culture
    http://jefferson.village.virginia.edu/pmc/current.issue/
    - the Johns Hopkins University Press.

    Practical Politics at the Limits of Community: The Cases of Affirmative Action and Welfare:
    by Scott Michaelsen and Scott Cutler Shershow

    As soon as, through the movement of those forces tending toward a break, revolution appears as something possible, with a possibility that is not abstract, but historically and concretely determined, then in those moments revolution has taken place. --Maurice Blanchot

    We are left with a simple command, and an infinite responsibility. Be just with Justice. --Drucilla Cornell

    This essay attempts to confront perhaps the most obvious and yet the most difficult challenge of radical social critique: the question of the practical. Both of its authors have been interested for many years in various modes of deconstruction and post-Marxism, and we have attempted, in our separate ways, to expose the limits not only of the historical discourses of economy and anthropology, but even of some of the cherished concepts of contemporary left-wing thought. But our work on multiculturalism, political economy, and cultural studies has brought us to the limit of our own critiques. At this limit, how does one say "yes" to the affirmative? How can we, in the words of the famous Marxist injunction, "prove the truth, that is, the reality and power, the this-sidedness" of our thinking in practice (Marx and Engels 144)?

    Marxism, Postmodernism, Zizek:
    by Brian Donahue

    This essay begins in the midst of the ongoing dilemma posed by late-capitalist society and postmodern culture, namely, whether these remain the ultimate horizon of the contemporary world and whether efforts to resist, oppose, represent critically, or propose alternatives to the "cultural dominant" of postmodernism are merely atavistic.

    "What's It Like There?": Desultory Notes on the Representation of Sarajevo:
    by Jim Hicks

    "What does the earth look like in the places where people commit atrocities?" -- Robert D. Kaplan,

    Balkan Ghosts
      In order to begin, I'll have to confess: what follows here will be an essay in the early sense of the term (in other words, I have no idea whatsoever how it's going to come out).[1] I've decided, nonetheless, to make an effort to address--or at least avoid in a somewhat more professional manner--an issue which for me, in the five or so years that I've been visiting Sarajevo, just won't go away. The problem is that I continue to have no real answer to the question that my title poses, the question that, for understandable reasons, I'm asked on almost every occasion when someone finds out I've been spending time in postwar Bosnia-Herzegovina.

    2. from Art Commotion
    http://www.artcommotion.com/

    Discussion with Rachel Lachowicz
    by Michael Cohen

    Rachel Lachowicz is a Los Angeles-based artist well known for her recontextualization of classic works of art by famous male artists and for her sculptural use of unorthodox material such as eye shadow and face powder. For example, in one of her best known pieces she recast Yves Klein's Blue Venus in brillliant red lipstick. Lachowicz's use of apparently simple means to convey a broad range of issues has lead curators to associate her work with the pared-down minimalist impulse as well as the appropriative strategies of postmodern movements. Her work has appeared in many important venues including the Museum of Modern Art in New York City and most recently in Santa Monica, Calif. at Shoshana Wayne Gallery. Michael Cohen caught up with Lachowicz at her studio in the Los Feliz Hills, where he interviewed her about her artistic methods and her work's ambiguous connections to feminism and patriarchal expression.

    3. from Rewired
    http://www.rewired.com/cgi-bin/rewired_redirect.cgi?year=01&article=1126.html

    Contact and Impact: Over the Lines
    by Daniel Listoe

    Mark Poster, a historian and scholar of new media, recently delivered a talk at the Center for 21st Century Studies at the University of Wisconsin-Milwaukee, entitled “Citizenship, New Media, and Globalization.” Citizenship of the nation-state, Poster says, may well be passing out of existence. The cause is that strange and elusive beast called globalization. So in the coming wake of citizenship, what arena is left for political practice? What cause for Hope? The “Internet” is his tentative and heavily qualified answer. However well considered, this project travels the well-worn trail of exploring the possibilities for an emancipatory politics blooming from the new virtual realm buzzing about some of us. It is a seductive trail. It promises pretty stops. Such is the lie of the lure.

    4. from Bomb Magazine
    http://www.bombsite.com/tocsp02.html

    Janet Cardiff
    by Atom Egoyan

    The first work of Janet Cardiff's I encountered was Whispering Room. I entered a room at the Art Gallery of Ontario where a series of audio speakers mounted on thin metal stands emitted a soft murmur of conversation. As I got closer to each speaker, I could make out individual texts. At certain moments, my movement would trigger a projected image of a young girl in a red dress dancing in the woods.

    It's difficult to express my excitement in this room. I had the sensation of being in the middle of a film that was still being formulated; that was still in someone else's mind. I was completely overwhelmed by the collision of technological artifacts-speakers, projectors, lights, wires-and narrative abstraction. I found myself drifting through the emotional residue of a personal trauma that was both immediate and distant, visceral yet disembodied.

    The crowd at the December, 2001 opening of Liz Larner's show at the Museum of Contemporary Art in Los Angeles was enormous. A cord had to be stretched across the entrance to the galleries containing the works, with a museum guard admitting people in carefully regulated numbers in the manner customary at nightclubs. It was a mid-career show, and Larner is immensely popular with young artists, and also with old ones. Both like her work's emotional and intellectual range, including its use of naughty elements such as explosives and heroin; I think it may also be attractive to young artists because among other things it demonstrates that one may move freely between attitudes that in the immediately antecedent era were generally felt to be mutually exclusive. Moreover, Larner's various interests produce outcomes that actually look different from one another, which adds to the other properties (frivolity as well as forcefulness, multiplicity as much as singularity) that make her work attractive to those who, in Sylvère Lotringer's delightful formulation, are Postmodernist not because they worked through Modernism but because they were born after it. Older artists, as usual, are attracted by the sight of someone doing something new.

    5. from Rhizome
    http://www.rhizome.com/cgi/netArtNews2Friend.cgi?action=web×tamp=20020618

    You are the Agent of Alternative Reality

    "Alternative Corporate Reality" (ACR) is a nose-thumbing tactical media project that tricks corporations into using anti-corporate icons in their own ad campaigns. Freelance graphic designers are challenged to download ACR stock photography and use it in ad campaigns for their corporate clients. This ACR stock photography features recognizable project organizer Damian Stephens in various mock-serious power poses. Participating designers then upload samples of their "subverted" corporate work to the ACR site as evidence of their bravado. More of a sly wink than a thrown brick, but every little bit counts when you're fighting the man.

    6. from Art Forum
    http://www.artforum.com/

    Hotlist: Manual Labor
    by Jon Ippolito

    EXHIBITIONS OF NEW MEDIA tend to focus on the new; as a result, artists working with computers in the '80s who set precedents for today's technologically savvy photographers, video artists, and Net artists often get overlooked. Take Ed Hill and Suzanne Bloom, aka Manual: The duo has been experimenting with digital manipulation since 1985, eleven years after they pioneered montage and text techniques that eerily presage many a Photoshop construction or Flash animation, yet Manual is rarely referenced in articles or shows of new-media art. This summer, Hill and Bloom-who contributed to Artforum in the '80s and early '90s-get their due when a retrospective of Manual's work from the mid-'70s to the present opens at New York's International Center of Photography (June 28-Sept. 1). The show features a hundred photographs, a series of early digital animations, CD-ROMs, and a new three-screen video installation based on Virgil's Eclogues.

    Critic's Picks
    New York
  • Jason Rhoades
  • Lisette Model
  • Eija-Liisa Ahtila
  • Bruce Nauman
    Los Angeles
  • Andy Warhol:Retrospective
    San Francisco
  • Christian Marclay:Sampling
    London
  • Ori Gersht
    Berlin
  • Francis Alÿs and Alejandro González Iñárritu
  • Sofia Hulten
  • Kara Walker
  • "Here and Now"
    Milan
  • Patrick Tuttofuoco
    Vienna
  • Ayse Erkmen
    Elsewhere
  • "The Object Sculpture"

    7. from ARTnews Online
    http://www.artnewsonline.com/currentarticle.cfm?type=feature&art_id=1150

    INSIDE THIS MONTH
    This June, we highlight some of the trends shaping today’s art world. In a survey of contemporary realism, we examine the many ways that artists are upholding traditional techniques-or updating them. In "Fallen Angles," we describe how artists are tearing up buildings, punching in walls, and constructing edifices meant to confuse the senses. We talk with Cecily Brown, the high-profile British artist whose ambitious, unabashedly gestural paintings are unabashedly about sex. We tour the new (temporary) headquarters of the Museum of Modern Art in Long Island City, Queens. And in a special report, we look at the surreal legacy of Man Ray-and how his estate is being run out of a Long Island auto body shop.

    The Real Thing?: Inspired by the actual world, by photography, even by film, contemporary realism comes in many guises and defies any single definition
    By Ann Landi

    Despite half a century of innovations-through the Sturm und Drang of Abstract Expressionism, the austerities of Minimalism, the theorizing of Conceptualism-realism has steadfastly managed, in one form or another, to hold its own. Painters and sculptors who have eschewed abstraction in rendering their particular take on the visible world have proliferated and thrived, occasionally even generating a movement-photorealism, for example. Now, emerging from the last decade’s polymorphous stew of postmodernism, realist artists are moving back into the foreground (witness the critical and popular success of the recent Gerhard Richter exhibition, with his many photorealist paintings, at the Museum of Modern Art in New York).


    TOP
  • Sanka

    1. 'spook words' by Stephen Crowhurst
    I started collecting 'spook words' this after reading about a rumor that the major intelligence agencies would scan all messages floating around on the Internet looking for something interesting, This is why some paranoid folks say the Internet is so slow, The NSA says that they don't, but that's what the NSA would say. Another rumor to the story is that the NSA and all those other three lettered agencies just don't have the bandwidth to look at all those messages, and that its all those people farting around watching Bugs Bunny on Real Audio from work sucking down all that bandwidth.

    There may be some truth to the rumors, digital wiretaps have been done on the Internet looking for particular words used by criminal hackers and only a few messages that weren't related to the case were captured and disseminated.

    The idea here is that if lots of people add suspicious words to their messages, the world's Intel agencies will be too busy with spurious input that they will have to give up reading it all.

    Waihopai, INFOSEC, Information Security, Information Warfare, IW, IS, Privacy, Information Terrorism, Terrorism Defensive Information, Defense Information Warfare, Offensive Information, Offensive Information Warfare, National Information Infrastructure, InfoSec, Reno, Compsec, Computer, Terrorism, Firewalls, Secure Internet Connections, ISS, Passwords, DefCon V, Hackers, Encryption, Espionage, USDOJ, NSA, CIA, S/Key, SSL, FBI, Secert Service, USSS, Defcon, Military, White House, Undercover, NCCS, Mayfly, PGP, PEM, RSA, Perl-RSA, MSNBC, bet, AOL, AOL TOS, CIS, CBOT, AIMSX, STARLAN, 3B2, BITNET, COSMOS, DATTA, E911, FCIC, HTCIA, IACIS, UT/RUS, JANET, JICC, ReMOB, LEETAC, UTU, VNET, BRLO, BZ, CANSLO, CBNRC, CIDA, JAVA, Active X, Compsec 97, LLC, DERA, Mavricks, Meta-hackers, ^?, Steve Case, Tools, Telex, Military Intelligence, Scully, Flame, Infowar, Bubba, Freeh, Archives, Sundevil, jack, Investigation, ISACA, NCSA, spook words, Verisign, Secure, ASIO, Lebed, ICE, NRO, Lexis-Nexis, NSCT, SCIF, FLiR, Lacrosse, Flashbangs, HRT, DIA, USCOI, CID, BOP, FINCEN, FLETC, NIJ, ACC, AFSPC, BMDO, NAVWAN, NRL, RL, NAVWCWPNS, NSWC, USAFA, AHPCRC, ARPA, LABLINK, USACIL, USCG, NRC, ~, CDC, DOE, FMS, HPCC, NTIS, SEL, USCODE, CISE, SIRC, CIM, ISN, DJC, SGC, UNCPCJ, CFC, DREO, CDA, DRA, SHAPE, SACLANT, BECCA, DCJFTF, HALO, HAHO, FKS, 868, GCHQ, DITSA, SORT, AMEMB, NSG, HIC, EDI, SAS, SBS, UDT, GOE, DOE, GEO, Masuda, Forte, AT, GIGN, Exon Shell, CQB, CONUS, CTU, RCMP, GRU, SASR, GSG-9, 22nd SAS, GEOS, EADA, BBE, STEP, Echelon, Dictionary, MD2, MD4, MDA, MYK, 747,777, 767, MI5, 737, MI6, 757, Kh-11, Shayet-13, SADMS, Spetznaz, Recce, 707, CIO, NOCS, Halcon, Duress, RAID, Psyops, grom, D-11, SERT, VIP, ARC, S.E.T. Team, MP5k, DREC, DEVGRP, DF, DSD, FDM, GRU, LRTS, SIGDEV, NACSI, PSAC, PTT, RFI, SIGDASYS, TDM. SUKLO, SUSLO, TELINT, TEXTA. ELF, LF, MF, VHF, UHF, SHF, SASP, WANK, Colonel, domestic disruption, smuggle, 15kg, nitrate, Pretoria, M-14, enigma, Bletchley Park, Clandestine, nkvd, argus, afsatcom, CQB, NVD, Counter Terrorism Security, Rapid Reaction, Corporate Security, Police, sniper, PPS, ASIS, ASLET, TSCM, Security Consulting, High Security, Security Evaluation, Electronic Surveillance, MI-17, Counterterrorism, spies, eavesdropping, debugging, interception, COCOT, rhost, rhosts, SETA, Amherst, Broadside, Capricorn, Gamma, Gorizont, Guppy, Ionosphere, Mole, Keyhole, Kilderkin, Artichoke, Badger, Cornflower, Daisy, Egret, Iris, Hollyhock, Jasmine, Juile, Vinnell, B.D.M.,Sphinx, Stephanie, Reflection, Spoke, Talent, Trump, FX, FXR, IMF, POCSAG, Covert Video, Intiso, r00t, lock picking, Beyond Hope, csystems, passwd, 2600 Magazine, Competitor, EO, Chan, Alouette,executive, Event Security, Mace, Cap-Stun, stakeout, ninja, ASIS, ISA, EOD, Oscor, Merlin, NTT, SL-1, Rolm, TIE, Tie-fighter, PBX, SLI, NTT, MSCJ, MIT, 69, RIT, Time, MSEE, Cable & Wireless, CSE, Embassy, ETA, Porno, Fax, finks, Fax encryption, white noise, pink noise, CRA, M.P.R.I., top secret, Mossberg, 50BMG, Macintosh Security, Macintosh Internet Security, Macintosh Firewalls, Unix Security, VIP Protection, SIG, sweep, Medco, TRD, TDR, sweeping, TELINT, Audiotel, Harvard, 1080H, SWS, Asset, Satellite imagery, force, Cypherpunks, Coderpunks, TRW, remailers, replay, redheads, RX-7, explicit, FLAME, Pornstars, AVN, Playboy, Anonymous, Sex, chaining, codes, Nuclear, 20, subversives, SLIP, toad, fish, data havens, unix, c, a, b, d, the, Elvis, quiche, DES, 1*, NATIA, NATOA, sneakers, counterintelligence, industrial espionage, PI, TSCI, industrial intelligence, H.N.P., Juiliett Class Submarine, Locks, loch, Ingram Mac-10, sigvoice, ssa, E.O.D., SEMTEX, penrep, racal, OTP, OSS, Blowpipe, CCS, GSA, Kilo Class, squib, primacord, RSP, Becker, Nerd, fangs, Austin, Comirex, GPMG, Speakeasy, humint, GEODSS, SORO, M5, ANC, zone, SBI, DSS, S.A.I.C., Minox, Keyhole, SAR, Rand Corporation, Wackenhutt, EO, Wackendude, mol, Hillal, GGL, CTU, botux, Virii, CCC, Blacklisted 411, Internet Underground, XS4ALL, Retinal Fetish, Fetish, Yobie, CTP, CATO, Phon-e, Chicago Posse, l0ck, spook keywords, PLA, TDYC, W3, CUD, CdC, Weekly World News, Zen, World Domination, Dead, GRU, M72750, Salsa, 7, Blowfish, Gorelick, Glock, Ft. Meade, press-release, Indigo, wire transfer, e-cash, Bubba the Love Sponge, Digicash, zip, SWAT, Ortega, PPP, crypto-anarchy, AT&T, SGI, SUN, MCI, Blacknet, Middleman, KLM, Blackbird, plutonium, Texas, jihad, SDI, Uzi, Fort Meade, supercomputer, bullion, 3, Blackmednet, Propaganda, ABC, Satellite phones, Planet-1, cryptanalysis, nuclear, FBI, Panama, fissionable, Sears Tower, NORAD, Delta Force, SEAL, virtual, Dolch, secure shell, screws, Black-Ops, Area51, SABC, basement, data-haven, black-bag, TEMPSET, Goodwin, rebels, ID, MD5, IDEA, garbage, market, beef, Stego, unclassified, utopia, orthodox, Alica, SHA, Global, gorilla, Bob, Pseudonyms, MITM, Gray Data, VLSI, mega, Leitrim, Yakima, Sugar Grove, Cowboy, Gist, 8182, Gatt, Platform, 1911, Geraldton, UKUSA, veggie, 3848, Morwenstow, Consul, Oratory, Pine Gap, Menwith, Mantis, DSD, BVD, 1984, Flintlock, cybercash, government, hate, speedbump, illuminati, president, freedom, cocaine, $, Roswell, ESN, COS, E.T., credit card, b9, fraud, assasinate, virus, anarchy, rogue, mailbomb, 888, Chelsea, 1997, Whitewater, MOD, York, plutonium, William Gates, clone, BATF, SGDN, Nike, Atlas, Delta, TWA, Kiwi, PGP 2.6.2., PGP 5.0i, PGP 5.1, siliconpimp, Lynch, 414, Face, Pixar, IRIDF, eternity server, Skytel, Yukon, Templeton, LUK, Cohiba, Soros, Standford, niche, 51, H&K, USP, ^, sardine, bank, EUB, USP, PCS, NRO, Red Cell, Glock 26, snuffle, Patel, package, ISI, INR, INS, IRS, GRU, RUOP, GSS, NSP, SRI, Ronco, Armani, BOSS, Chobetsu, FBIS, BND, SISDE, FSB, BfV, IB, froglegs, JITEM, SADF, advise, TUSA, HoHoCon, SISMI, FIS, MSW, Spyderco, UOP, SSCI, NIMA, MOIS, SVR, SIN, advisors, SAP, OAU, PFS, Aladdin, chameleon man, Hutsul, CESID, Bess, rail gun, Peering, 17, 312, NB, CBM, CTP, Sardine, SBIRS, SGDN, ADIU, DEADBEEF, IDP, IDF, Halibut, SONANGOL, Flu, &, Loin, PGP 5.53, EG&G, AIEWS, AMW, WORM, MP5K-SD, 1071, WINGS, cdi, DynCorp, UXO, Ti, THAAD, package, chosen, PRIME, SURVIAC, [Hello to all my friends and fans in domestic surveillance]


    2. Subject: columbiancoffee.com is now for sale
    Date: Fri, 24 May 2002 04:21:05 -0400
    From: "DomainPlanet.com"
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    3. Dairy Queen's Week in Review

    day 1:
    6am: Alarm rings. Wake up tired & cranky. Take bath.
    7am: Make breakfast. Pay bills ($198)
    8am: Car pool arrives. Go to work (job: Lobbyist).
    3pm: Come home from work (earned $360). Play chess for fun & to increase my logic skills.
    5.30pm: Take a nap on the couch for an energy boost.
    8.30pm: Wake (still cranky).
    9pm: Call Captain Beefheart ­ he says his favourite soap opera is almost over & he'll come to visit in a little while.
    9:30pm: Threw out some old chocolates that were lying around. Prepared & served dinner.
    11pm: Beefheart arrives ­ greet with a kiss. Eat dinner, then clear & wash the dishes. Have a drink from the mini-bar while Beefheart is in the bathroom.
    12am: Talk about skiing, cars, soccer & music. We both enjoy the conversation very much.
    1 am: Captain Beefheart says goodnight. We waved goodbye. My bladder is so full that I have to run to the washroom.
    2am: Wash my hands, then go to sleep. Dream about politics, sailing, cars, & the sun.

    day 2:
    6am: Alarm rings. Wake up tired & cranky again. Take Bath.
    7am: Clean up last night's leftovers. Make breakfast (cut finger twice ­ Reminder: Study Cooking). Eat.
    8:45am: Car pool arrives. Go to work.
    *Maid comes to clean ($10/day)
    *Promoted at work to Campaign Manager. New salary: $430/day(+$980 bonus). Hrs: 9am-6pm. This job will require me to increase my charisma and to get in better shape.
    3pm: Come home from work. Bring in newspaper.
    3.15pm: Eat leftovers. Nap on couch to boost energy level.
    6pm: Wake cranky. Read a book.
    7.30pm: Practice speech in front of bathroom mirror to enhance charisma.
    8pm: I am lonely so I call Bella Goth and invite her over. She asks if she can bring along a friend. I agree.
    9.30pm: Bella & Mortimer Goth arrive. I greet Bella and we talk about flowers. Bella looks exactly like me but her skin is darker. I don't greet Mortimer in time, so he leaves.
    11pm: Bella and I talk about the weather. She tells me a story about a robber. I juggle for her. I fall asleep on the front lawn from exhaustion while we're talking. Bella leaves.
    1.30am: Wake up and go to bed. Dream about music and flowers.

    day 3:
    6am: Alarm rings. Wake up tired. Go to the bathroom.
    7am: Take a bath. Eat a quick breakfast standing in the kitchen.
    8am: Car pool arrives. Go to work.
    *Maid comes to clean ($10/day)
    *Home Renovations: New "Shogun" Japanese Wall Covering in my bedroom to match my living room.
    Sold old bed and bought a Napolean Sleigh Bed. Planted a Mulberry tree and some nasturtiums in the back yard. Extended the cement tiles of the back patio/art studio to meet the swimming pool.
    6pm: Came home from work ($430). Painted for fun and to improve my creativity.
    7.30pm: Napped on the couch.
    9pm: The phone rings: I am advised that I am a "Winter" and should decorate accordingly. I am lonely so I call Captain Beefheart to come over and visit.
    9.30pm: Prepared Dinner. Beefheart arrives and we eat. Over dinner, we talk about dolphins, tennis, skiing, the weather and air guitar. We both enjoy the conversation very much. I fall asleep on the kitchen floor from exhaustion, and he leaves.
    1.30am: Wake up & do the dishes. Go to bed.

    day 4:
    6am: Alarm rings. Wake up. Go for a swim for fun and to get in better shape.
    7.30am: Go to bathroom. Wash hands.
    8am: Carpool arrives. Go to work.
    *Maid comes to clean ($10/day)
    6pm: Come home from work ($430). Bring in newspaper. Bring in mail. Pay bills ($190)
    7.30pm: I am lonely. I call Bella to invite her over. She asks if she can bring a friend along. I agree.
    8.30pm: Bella &Cassandra Goth arrive. Cassandra is a little girl. I don't greet Bella fast enough, so she puts the cake she brought down on the grass and leaves. Cassandra and I talk about toys for a while, but we don't really get along.
    10pm: I fall asleep from exhaustion again. Bella comes to pickup Cassandra, because it is way past her bedtime.
    11pm: Eat a snack & go to sleep. Dream about cars and flowers.

    day 5:
    6am: Alarm rings. Wake up tired & cranky.
    6.15am: Brush Teeth. Try to practice a speech in front of the mirror but I'm too depressed to even look at myself.
    7am: Clean up rotting leftovers. Prepare breakfast.
    7:45am: The phone rings; the $100 I invested this year has received a $400 return!
    8am: The car pool comes & leaves while I'm eating breakfast.
    10am: The phone rings; I have missed a day of work. It is okay to miss one day, but if it becomes a habit, I'll be fired.
    11am: Call Bella Goth to invite her over. Go outside to play with the model railroad.
    1pm: Bella arrives with cake. We bring it inside & eat cake in the kitchen. We both wash our hands. I go to the bathroom.
    3pm: Turn on the stereo to listen to some Latin music. We dance.
    6pm: I entertain Bella, and tickle her until she giggles. We talk about world peace, nuclear science, and flowers.
    8pm: Ask Bella to leave. We wave goodbye.
    9pm: Prepare dinner and eat.
    10pm: Turn the stereo off and go to sleep. Dream about a robber.

    day 6:
    6am: Alarm rings. Wake up.
    6.30am: Go to bathroom. Remember to flush.
    7am: Take a swim for fun and to improve physical fitness.
    8am: Car pool arrives. No time to clear last night's dishes. Go to work.
    *Maid comes to clean ($10/day)
    6pm: Come home from work ($430). Bring in cake Bella left outside two days ago.
    6.30pm: Eat some cake. Wash hands.
    7pm: Take a bath to improve hygiene.
    8pm: Feeling lonely. Call Captain Beefheart to come visit -- he'll be over shortly.
    8.30pm: Clean puddle in bathroom left from bath.
    9pm: Beefheart arrives; greet with kiss. We stay outside and talk about jet planes. I tickle him until he giggles. I entertain him with my juggling, and give him a backrub. We talk about sailboats, cars, world peace & flowers.
    12am: We go inside and eat more cake. It makes me feel ill. We wash our hands.
    1.30am: Beefheart leaves because it is too late; wave goodnight. Clean up the rest of the cake. 2am: Go to sleep. Dream about sailboats & the sun.

    day 7:
    6am: Alarm rings. Wake up.
    6.30am: Have a bath. Clean puddle on tatami mat.
    7.15am: Read a book.
    7.50am: Make breakfast.
    8am: Carpool arrives during breakfast & leaves.
    9.30am: Walk to the bookshelf to select a book to read.
    10am: The phone rings; I have missed a day of work. It is okay to miss one day, but if it becomes a habit, I'll be fired.
    11am: Read a book.
    *Maid comes to clean ($10/day)
    *Gardener comes to tend to yard ($30/week)
    1.30pm: Play chess for fun and to improve logic skills.
    3pm: Nap on couch to boost energy.
    7pm: Prepare & serve dinner.
    7.30pm: Call Bella Goth to invite her over. She accepts.
    8.30pm: Bella arrives with flowers. Greet her and bring the flowers inside to the table. Begin to cry from loneliness. Bella comes inside.
    9pm: We talk about cars, jet planes & sailboats.
    10pm: We eat dinner. Bella eats standing up, because the flowers she brought are blocking her space on the table. She leaves her plate on the floor and goes to the washroom.
    11pm: I entertain Bella and we talk about world peace & nuclear science.
    12am: Very tired. Drink coffee to boost energy. Bella goes into the backyard to swim in the pool. I am exhausted. I keep thinking about my bed, but I go out and join her. We swim together in matching purple bikinis.
    1.30am: I leave the pool because I have to urinate very badly. I go to the washroom, but fall asleep on my way to wash my hands. Bella leaves.
    5am: I wake up standing in the washroom, and go to bed.


    4. My Lou Diamond Phillips Story by anon.
    So as far as I can recall these are the details of Tuesday June 4th and how they relate to Lou Diamond Phillips. Lou Diamond Phillips was filming a movie in my building called Absolon and for one scene they planned to blow out two windows of our building. But the film didn't tell me about it, I found out from my neighbours the night before. So I called the film to complain and I told them that I had to do transcriptions, which requires a certain amount of silence. He offered to get me a quiet place to work and I said that it would be difficult to leave my cat alone. He told me he would call me right back.

    When he called they said that they had booked a room for me at the Grand Hotel and they accept cats. Which is apparently where Lou Diamond Phillips and the crew of Absolon were staying. But I said, "No, thank you because my cat doesn't do well when I take him out of my place". So he said he would like to buy me dinner and I said ok.

    I met the locations guy outside my building and he gave me $100 cash and told me to bring back a receipt. I invited some of my friends to Betty's to drink beer and when we returned our entire building had been evacuated by the fire marshal and a police officer and my neighbours had to stand outside in the rain for an hour while we were having beer down the street for free. When I went into my studio and it smelled like ear candling because of the explosives and I finished my transcriptions. Indeed.


    TOP
    Instant Coffee Saturday Edition is our (sort of) monthly email/online zine. Saturday Edition compliments to Instant Coffee's email list service, which has been promoting local, national and international events to a targeted audience since 2000.

    Instant Coffee Saturday Edition takes submissions. We're interested in graphics, articles reviews and links about music, video/film, art exhibitions, architecture and design for the sections as above ... and self indulgences for the Sanka section. Send submissions to saturday@instantcoffee.org

    instant coffee loves lou too

     
    just   read  &delete  
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